Following our Heart vs. Being Selfish

011Brought to you by the Heart Whisperer, (Niki Le Mesurier)

As our souls increases it presence and our hearts needs become central to your lives, it does prompt the question many of you have asked me and been told…

” But isn’t that being selfish?”

All of you are feeling that niggling feeling “What about me!” The need to feel heard, loved, supported, acknowledged, validated and accepted, not for WHAT we do but WHO we are. This is pushing all of us to listen to ourselves. I can assure you are not alone in those thoughts.

As we feel that bubble of disconnection from our physical lives and “everything” outside of us feeling foreign. That our ability to relate to the life we have spent a lifetime creating has slipped away has us feeling our back is up against a wall. The way forward is pushing us to throw caution to the wind and it appears we are standing on the cusp of making radical life changes. This often manifests as a conflict bubbling away in all of us.

The pressure to move forward and “express ourselves”; put our, tender, scared inner worlds out into the physical world and relationships is that newness of our souls pushing to be heard. That this push is in fact leading us away from what we thought we wanted. Not only that but it is throwing up the question. By putting what I need first , isn’t this being selfish? Woman in particular struggle with this latest pressure push.

When we were born we needed to experience what a society driven by external expectations and controls felt like, looked like and was. As children we instinctively put our hearts first, but as we grew up we saw, felt and heard how it was not the way of those around us. This was hard but ,ok. We needed to see how the current level of heart intelligence and integrity worked. The difference for us HIBs (Heart Intelligent Beings) is that the new level of heart integrity and intelligence and compassion, drive we brought in with us we couldn’t switch off or shut down. That’s what has and continues to separate us out form those who are in their lives to do just that..

Many HIBs have been met with the cry’s of being irresponsible, naive, arrogant and disrespectful towards the generations of traditions, protocols, institutions, evidence acquired from historical experiences that supported an externally informed identity. HIB’s identity is internally based, though we adopt the external one to feel it out, it is not our natural setting This is where the subtle, yet powerful, misunderstandings between HIBs and parents and figures of authority derive form.

This would often be experienced as us rejecting our parents love and experience and wisdom and providing what is in the child’s best interest. Reports of mothers feeling inadequate, not good enough, judged and criticised by their HIB children is common. Often HIB kids / adults solution was/ is to shut up and try to tow the line. This set up an inner struggle for us. That to be with those we love, we have to work hard to ignore ourselves or shut us down. Brought to you by the Heart Whisperer, (Niki Le Mesurier) AUGUST 2015 Page 2

But for HIBs it is impossible to shut us down. This would result in a illusive anger from feeling misunderstood, disconnected with those around us ,unloved and unaccepted. A deep frustration and a self-hatred would often become the normal. Being internally identified automatically made our parents feel useless and unloved by us, yet we couldn’t love them more passionately. A stale mate has resulted for many.

Being at cross purpose with each other feels awful for all concerned. So many of us threw ourselves into trying to fix us, so we did relate to our parents need to feel loved. But for many of us we had to dim down our natural intuition and ability to listen to others people feelings all around us. Try to shut the “white noise” of feelings unexpressed around us. Or go nuts. Much of HIBs childhood was/ is spent trying to figure out how to function in the world of those we loved, and how to shut our inner identity down.

Nothing wrong with this, it was what we needed to do to engage and participate and experience for ourselves how our social setting worked and felt. But HIBs do it as a conscious step and awake, no amnesia for us.

Now, in response to the increased vibrations of heart energy on earth and through all people, we are all being opened up again, whether we want to or not. The focus for all of us now is on our inner identify and knowing’s and truth. The adopted external beliefs and values are slipping away, dissolving. With this comes the push to put in place the safe and nurturing living spaces we need so we can expand in and nurture these new levels of knowing, understandings, sensitives and needs.

By providing a safe and emotionally nurturing space for ourselves we reduce the onslaught of feeling the “feeling language” of those who are unable to recognise what they are feeling but spend their time reacting to them instead of expressing them. Once this space is in place for us we can be there for those we love, in a way that we feel present and supported. We can then support them from our strength and not being constantly preoccupied with protecting those around us from our energy, perceptions, insights and truth.

For this we are having to be very brave and navigate our way through decades of adopting the values and beliefs that we adopted to keep us under wraps.

As we are expanding in, our souls do go through a stage of wondering who we really are and ” Where did I go?”. Like reuniting with an old friend who has changed, we are reuniting with our selves. We are feeling carried into this new level of transformation and existence.

This transformation (Expansion in of our souls ) is crystallising the conflict. This is triggering a life time of guilt. Oh boy the guilt! Or, should I say, the dismay of how to do this. How to feel the powerful heart ache and work with the unrelenting pull towards creating for ourselves a life that emotionally nurtures and supports this new level of self, AND help those around us to understand that we are not doing it to hurt them, but doing it to love and accommodate this newly emerging self. From that point can we love them in a way that has not been possible before.

Until we create this life that supports us, that we feel loved in, held, validated and accepted on a level that previously or currently can’t be met in the life we have crafted, we cant hold, support and validate them. This tender and unrelenting process, is so very often, called being selfish. Brought to you by the Heart Whisperer, (Niki Le Mesurier) AUGUST 2015 Page 3

This compounds our inner conflict. If we do make the changes in our lives so we can feel supported emotionally, it does look like our parents/ caregivers, teachers and siblings must have been right about us, we mustn’t care about others after all! Being that social outcast, that cultural and social nonconformist, misfit! Guilt and selfishness double whammy! That is presenting many challenges to all of us.

Our souls come in and express through our hearts, our emotional core. So its through our emotions and that these changes are happening; this translates as a new level of heart integrity, vulnerability, knowing, and intensive feeling language and “out there” thought processes. The powerful feelings of longing, heart ache, high frustration levels, desire, passion, day dreaming, powerful dreams and physically alarming and debilitating symptoms are eclipsing all social, cultural and religious formulas for happiness, logical future plans, lifestyles that have been the target to reach in all lives.

Those externally referenced beliefs that are weak and fading, suited us all fine, there was nothing wrong with them at all. They have always been part of the plan that we were born into, expected to do and refined by our family, religious or national cultures. You were fine running the house, job, putting the kids, parents, cousins, work, friends community first. That’s not the issue.

The reality facing all HIBS, is that now is the time for us to step up into our truth, our inner identity and not live in the shadow of other peoples externally informed truths, our focus has shifted. Our perspective is changing from participating in and functioning in a world that is an external and physically based logic and focus and about responding to what others expect of you, to only being able to function and engage in that which resonates with your heart.

This is where the misunderstanding we are grappling with lies. We are not excluding our family, friends and society. WE are learning to live our life based on INCLUDING, integrating and BEING our big heart integrity and big sensitive, knowing, vulnerable self. This adds to the confusion. So no you are not being exclusive, you are learning to live a life that is about being INCLUSIVE of you. From this place of self-acceptance, we can truly include all those we love.

Then and only then can we truly allow others to be themselves with us. So no you are in fact being very brave and embracing your truth so you can be real and lead others into theirs. This takes sacrifice, courage, patience and compassion and couldn’t be further from being selfish.

Take care and be strong in being you, we are all depending on it.

In Heart with you all


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